Tag: humor

What? Me Worry?

This morning I read a post from IM Fletcher on his blog The Jane Doe Byline, that started my mind down the Worry Path.

https://thejanedoebyline.wordpress.com/2019/08/07/pivotal-date-aug-12th/

I pretty much live just off of the Worry Path on the corner of Anxiety Avenue and Worst Case Scenario Lane in a two-story house made of faux adobe. The house itself is a cause for concern.

Last week I worried about my adult children and their children traveling by car and/or plane to our family reunion in Texas. I worried about Studly Doright riding the backroads on his motorcycle across multiple states to join us at the reunion. I worried about my cats who’d stayed behind under the care of a competent pet sitter.

Oddly enough, I never worried about my own safety as I hurtled across the skies inside machines that seem to defy gravity and logic. That kind of worry would just be stupid.

Thanks to my diligent worrying, every one of us made it safely to and from the reunion. Once again, my efforts paid off. I’m exhausted. Now, what should I worry about this week? Unfortunately, the possibilities are endless.

Here’s a poem I posted a while back, in case you think I’m a novice worrier:

https://nananoyz5forme.com/2017/10/31/the-queen-of-worry/

Peace, people!

Snapshot #262

Today I’m heading home to Doright Manor after an extended weekend in Hereford, Texas. As I write this I’m at gate A14 in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport, and Studly Doright is on his motorcycle on a backroad somewhere in the middle of nowhere also heading towards Doright Manor.

We were in Texas for a Noyes family reunion, and we had quite a good time visiting with family members from near and far. I might share more photos from the event at a later date, but for now I wanted to post this one because it features two of my favorite nephews, who I seldom get to see, and me.

Let’s call this one, “Happy!”

Snapshot #261

This little guy made an appearance at our family reunion near Hereford, Texas. I played with horned toads, or as we called them, horny toads, as a child in the Texas panhandle, but they’d become an endangered species, and I’d despaired of ever holding one again.

The species seems to be making a comeback, though, since many of the folks in attendance reported having seen them recently.

Several of us petted him before we let him go to hopefully live a long and happy life on the dry, dusty plains of Texas.

Let’s call this one, The Comeback Kid.

Peace, people.

Stealers Wheel

I’m in the Tallahassee airport waiting to board my flight to Amarillo, Texas. This music was playing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jFGjC2MpUU&feature=share

Talk about some perfect airplane music; although, I seem to be the only one amused by it.

Below: semi-relevant cartoon

Above, at 62, nearly every song is my jam.

Eyebrows Strike Again

You know what ticks me off? When I’m getting a manicure and the manicurist asks, “Do you want your eyebrows waxed?”

Here I was thinking my eyebrows had it going on, and she blows my confidence with one question.

I wanted to say, “If I’d needed my eyebrows waxed that’s what I’d have asked for. Stick to the fingernails, lady.”

Instead I mumbled a polite, “No, thank you,” but now I can’t stop wondering if I should’ve had my eyebrows waxed. Too late now! These are the brows I’m taking to Texas:

They aren’t awful, are they? That’s code for, “if they are, I really don’t want to know.” After all these years here I am, still praying for eyebrows.

Peace, people!

Snapshot #260

Of the six succulents sitting on my windowsill, five are real and one is not. Let’s call this, Which Ones Do I Water? Seriously, I’ve forgotten which one isn’t going to die without proper hydration. So much for my gardening skills, right?

Peace, people!

The Quiet Benchmark

I’m so accustomed to WordPress announcing accomplishments for my blog that I was kind of expecting some sort of notification when I hit 2,000 followers on July 30. But, no. The benchmark came and went with little fanfare.

Well, maybe because it’s taken me over five years to reach 2,000, they didn’t think it was worth noting. And given my followers on FB and Twitter, I’ve been over the mark for at least two years now.

Every now and again I wonder if blogging is a good idea. Am I wasting my time, and yours, dear followers, by jotting down my often random thoughts on a daily basis? The truth is that I’ve been at it for so long that it’s become a pleasant habit, and I LOVE the interaction with others. I learn so much from reading the blogs I follow, and that’s something I might not do if I weren’t actively involved in writing one myself.

So I’m going to celebrate my little milestone. Stand back; this could get crazy.

(That’s not me, but I like her spirit!)

Snapshot 259

This is another photo that popped up in my Facebook memories today. I’m not sure where it was taken, but I think maybe it’s heaven. That should be the title for this one, “Maybe It’s Heaven.”

And, In Other News

Today marks the 43rd year of my marriage to Studly Doright. Guess who forgot? Not Studly.

He called me early Tuesday morning on his way home from Orlando, and in response to my “hello,” he said, “happy anniversary,” prompting a quick glance at my calendar. Sure enough, July 30. Well, how about that.

Up until today I’d never forgotten the date of the day we said “I do” in a small Baptist church in Dumas, Texas. After 43 years maybe he’ll cut me some slack.

Time sure flies when you’re married to your best friend.

Peace, people.

Manipulating Space

What if I had a super power? Not a grand power, such as flying or being bullet proof or extra strong, but a discrete power. I’m thinking specifically of being able to manipulate space. No, not outer space, but the space immediately surrounding me.

For example, let’s say I’m driving in the third lane of a four lane interstate in Dallas, Texas, when I realize the traffic to my right is being forced to merge into my lane due to road construction. I’m about to be smushed between a car on my left and an 18-wheeler on my right. There are cars directly in front of me and behind me, and I have nowhere to go. I’m talking about an imminent collision.

Mentally, I shrink, both myself and my vehicle. Physically I pull my shoulders in closer to my body and visualize my car doing the same–well, except the car doesn’t have shoulders. Somehow it works. I come out of the situation unscathed, and I go about my day. I drive to my destination and have a nice dinner with my son and his family.

Only after I’m in bed that night do I start shaking. What in hell happened that afternoon? Honestly, I should be in the hospital, heck, maybe in the morgue. My car should be a total wreck. Instead, I get up, pour myself a glass of wine and finally calm down so I can sleep.

Now, what if I told you this happened to me several months ago? Would you think I was crazy? Or, would you think maybe, just maybe, that I have a bit of spatial magic as my super power? Okay, I’m pretty sure there’s a logical explanation for what happened, but it’s kind of fun to imagine me having this one very discrete ability.

Have you ever experienced anything similar? Something that, after it happened you thought, “WTH!?” Discuss. And don’t call the men in white coats to take me away–unless of course they’re employed by an exclusive spa and you’ve booked me a month-long stay.