Tag: computers

Excel Hell

My computer skills are limited, at best, and my ability to run a simple workbook on Excel tests every one of those skills.

I’d like to think that if I’d worked in a field requiring daily use of Excel that I’d not only have become adept at the spreadsheet generating program, but that I’d have EXCELled at it. Using the darned thing once a month to submit an invoice only frustrates me and ends with me calling the computer awful things. My Dell now believes its name is Sonuvabitch, and that’s the nicest of the names I spout.

Thank goodness this month’s invoice is done. Come along now, Sonuvabitch, let’s play Words With Friends and chill for awhile.

Peace, people.

A Knotty Ode and a Knotty Tongue Twister

Some silly poetry today. I’ve always enjoyed the whimsical poems of Ogden Nash, and attempted to channel him a bit in these two offerings:

“Ode to a Knot”
–by Leslie Noyes–

Perhaps invention of the wheel
Earns history’s highest spot,
Yet, I would argue heartily
In favor of the knot.

Kudos to the underdogs
Who ventured out of frame,
To find a better method
Of fastening everything.

Whosoever first declared,
“Look I’ve found a way
To hold my furs up comfortably
And make them firmly stay!”

And she who finally realized
Her stitches would best remain
When tidy knots were employed
At both ends of the same.

You may argue for the wheel
Or for microprocessing chips
As for me I’ll sing knots’ praise
As mankind’s greatest gift.

 

“The Knot’s Untying”
–by Leslie Noyes–

”Twas not the knot’s fault
For not holding taut.
The knotter was for naught,
And herself poorly taught.