Category: Florida

The ‘Hood

I took the iPad for a walk around my neighborhood today and wanted to share some of my pictures.

These leaves are from one of several magnolia trees. There aren’t any flowers right now, but I like the leaves. They’re dark and waxy and large enough to house a fairy family.

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I’m no flora expert, but I believe this is a hibiscus or a camellia or a peony. Anyway, it’s a flower of some type.

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These photos are of the woods directly behind our home. I honestly never thought I’d live in a forest, yet here I am.

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Above is a glimpse of our lake. We have gators, so I don’t advise swimming there, but it’s great for kayaking and paddle boating.

And here’s the road winding to the outside world.

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Thanks for visiting my little piece of Florida.

Peace, People!

Fair in Tallahassee

Study and I visited the North Florida Fair on Saturday night. As fairs go, I’ve seen much better, but the food from local vendors was terrific. A beautiful family cooked the most delicious grilled shrimp just for me.

The highlight of the evening was the carousel. I’d never seen a double decker carousel before!

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The Ferris Wheel looked spectacular lit up against the November sky.

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Studly ate all of his favorite fair foods: chicken kabobs, corn dogs, and funnel cake. Amazingly he still manages to keep his churlish figure. 😍😉

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Perfect night. G,night all!

Peace, People!

Fall in (Love With) Tallahassee

Our leaves don’t really do much in the way of changing here. So far I’ve seen no garnets or golds other than those on the clothes adorning the fanatical fans of Florida State football. The morning temps are much cooler, though, than they were just two weeks ago, and the afternoons are gloriously sunny and warm. If I had a friend, we’d sit out on the back porch and drink our coffee as we watched the light play across the lake. Instead, I watch Criminal Minds and CSI:Miami reruns and do laundry.

But I imagine adopting a certain languor while reclining in the early November sun, an SPF 50 or above on any exposed body part. Even in my imagination I must be skin conscious. My non-existent friend offers to fetch us a drink refill, but no, I insist on getting it. We’ve exchanged our coffee for tea now. Sweetened for her, unsweetened for me. I hang up some clothes while I’m inside the house and start another load.

When I return, Adam Levine is stretched out on the chaise longue. He tells me my other friend had to leave to do laundry of her own. I’m momentarily uncertain of my next step, but Adam accepts the tea and we continue talking as if nothing has changed. Adam begins singing a song he’s composed just for me. I might be in love. With Tallahassee.

Peace, People.

It Only Hurts When I Move

Friday night (Halloween, 2014) Studly and I, along with his sister, Angie and her husband, Steve, ventured into the frightening world of Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando.

Angie and Steve flew all the way from the panhandle of Texas to help me bring closure to my glorious birthday month. And how do I thank them? By dragging them through one terrifying haunted house after another.

Imagine, if you will, Halloween on steroids. The big draw for us this year was “The Walking Dead” house in which we had to negotiate the claustrophobic confines of the prison and then make our way to Terminus while keeping out of the reach of walkers and cannibals alike. It was absolutely everything I’d hoped it would be–heart stopping horror at every turn.

Studly played it pretty cool all night until we went through the “Dusk ‘Til Dawn” house. It had snakes. Dangling, coiling, lurking, slithering snakes. Fake snakes, but Studly’s worst nightmare nonetheless.

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This morning I went out to get in the convertible. I pulled out of the garage and realized the ambient temperature was a bit on the chilly side to ride around with the top down. So with a press of a button I raised the top.

Little pieces of something began falling all around me. Dead lovebugs. Lots and lots of dried, dead lovebugs, no longer entwined in death, their flaky little carcasses raining down into my hair and onto my lap and into my purse.

What a way to start the day.

Peace, People!

Gator!

It’s official! We have a gator living in the lake behind our home. Studly first noticed him Saturday afternoon, but he disappeared before I could get a good look at him.

Yesterday I had to drive into Tallahassee to buy some final touches for our Labor Day meal and when I pulled into the driveway Studly was grinning from ear to ear.

“Hurry!” he urged.”the gator’s right behind the deck.”

I didn’t need coaxing. I left my groceries in the car and trotted down to the dock with my husband in tow. As we neared the dock, Studly said “I don’t see him now. He must have left.”

We stepped out onto the dock and bam! the little stinker shot out from underneath the boards we were standing on. I must confess, Studly squealed like a little girl while I maintained a calm demeanor. At least that’s the story I’ll be telling.

Once our hearts returned to something resembling their normal number of beats per minute we had an opportunity to look at our gator. He (she?) stopped about 20 feet out to observe us as we observed him. He isn’t very big–maybe three feet in length, and quite handsome as alligators go. As soon as we returned to the house we watched him swim back underneath our deck. Oh joy! He’s claimed our property as his own.

There are two schools of thought regarding alligators in our neighborhood. The first is that they are a menace and should be disposed of as soon as they are spotted. The other school says, it’s a lake, it’s Florida, you take the gators along with the snakes, the fish, and the turtles.

Studly and I won’t be calling local attention to our little guy any time soon. We’re pretty stoked that he chose us. By the same token, I won’t be kayaking on our lake until he’s gone. I don’t want to be gator bait.

Peace, People!

Food Glorious Food

One of the best things about moving to a different part of the country is finding the really good eateries.

I ate at Food Glorious Food in Tallahassee on Friday. With a name like that, it had better be good. And it was. Really, really good. I don’t often write about food, and I’m not one to post photos of my culinary adventures. I won’t now because I devoured every morsel before I even thought to snap a picture.

My lunch was their Maison salad and a club sandwich served on the softest, tastiest bread I’ve ever had. For dessert, I had a slice of Key Lime pound cake. Mercy! I wish I had the skills to tell my readers just how incredible this was. All I can say is, if it were human, this pound cake would make George Clooney look like Elmer Fudd on a bad day. If there is food in heaven, their Key Lime pound cake will be elevated above angel food cake which has the whole name thing going for it. This is why I’m not a food critic. I tend towards hyperbole.

Tallahassee isn’t a big city, but it has a surprising number of top notch places to dine, perhaps because it serves as the state’s capital. Here are some of the non-chain restaurants Studly and I have discovered:

Paisley Cafe is a breakfast and brunch place. They have the most delightful selection of baked goods, along with fresh fruits, omelets, and lots of other yummy stuff.

The Front Porch Great atmosphere! Situated in a big old southern style house, The Front Porch specializes in seafood and killer mimosas. I drank 7/8 of a carafe all by myself one morning. I don’t remember much after that.

Wells Brothers “Monk’s” has a ridiculously large selection of gourmet burgers. Studly likes PB&J on his.

Voodoo Dog is near Florida State University and caters to the college crowd. Their Wake n Bake is the best hotdog ever imagined. They take an all beef wiener, wrap it in bacon and lay it on a fried egg before putting it into the bun. Oh, and there is cheddar cheese baked on top of the whole shebang. Paradise on a bun.

The Seineyard has terrific seafood. Of course they fry 99.99 percent of it, so I don’t eat there often. They also have world famous cheese grits. I’ve become a fan. Their hush puppies are just right, too–perfectly crisp on the outside, soft and flavorful on the inside.

Z Bhardi’s Italian Cuisine is the best Italian place I’ve ever experienced. The atmosphere is romantic, the service impeccable, and the food divine. Even Studly liked it, and he doesn’t do Italian.

Ok, I’ve made myself hungry. Remember that Key Lime pound cake? I saved a piece and I’m having it for breakfast.

Peace, People!

Only The Lonely

Last week I gave out my email address to a complete stranger. Oh, we’d stood next to one another in the checkout line at Publix, but I don’t even know her first name. It started with a D. Dianne? Denise? Desiderata? Surely I’d have remembered that one.

Lonely people do odd things, like speaking to ourselves and answering our own questions out loud. “What do you think of this shirt?” “Nice, but it might be a little tight.” “You think so?” “Yea.” All me. All true.

We say odd things to waiters: “Is this the only menu you have?” “I really like your Muzak!” “Yeehaw, this is good!” Ok, I made that last one up.

We make odd observations aloud: “Hey, you have really cool ankles!” “I wish I had your cowlick!” “Today’s gonna be a good day!”

We try to make eye contact with people who look to be in our general age range, give or take 30 years. Yesterday I got into a meaningful conversation with a nice lady over a shoe sale at Dillards. I really think we could’ve been best friends, but then the woman’s great-great granddaughter gave me a look of pity before wheeling her out of my range.

Now, I’ve always been odd. Being lonely just amplifies it. Honestly, I like my own company, but it would be nice to have someone to hang out with at the beach or to go shopping with while Studly plays golf.

That’s all for now. I think myself and I will go to Goodwill. Lots of nice people there.

Peace, People

Snake Eyes

I never met a snake I couldn’t hate. Venomous, non-venomous, short, long, infant, adult, it doesn’t matter. They give me the willies. If I can see one well in advance of initial contact I can handle a snake’s presence, but the thing about snakes is they tend to lurk, hidden among the leaves and undergrowth, offering apples to unsuspecting naked people.

Tallahassee, Florida, is basically a hilly jungle. We have oak trees, magnolias, mimosas, pines, sweet gums, palms, and a host of other trees all, apparently, on steroids. In addition we have millions of shrubs and bushes and flowers. A profusion of plant life populates this part of the Florida panhandle. It’s beautiful. And it’s home to five different kinds of venomous snakes: the Pygmy Rattler, the Cottonmouth or Water Moccasin, the Timber Rattlesnake, the Coral Snake, and the Copperhead. These snakes love to hide under fallen leaves. Guess what? Lots of trees mean lots of leaves.

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Above: water moccasin

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Coral snake

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Pygmy rattler

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Copperhead

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Timber rattlesnake

Recently due to an increase in snake bites among the local populace, the “Tallahassee Democrat” ran an informative piece on the venomous snakes in our area. How kind of them. Since then I have barely stepped foot into our forested backyard. Every single snake named in the article enjoys hanging out in fallen leaves. I look out my back door and all I see are trees surrounded by fallen leaves. When I do go out I have this ritual dance. It’s part flamenco, part ninja, part karate. Think John Belushi in “Animal House.”

They tell me cats are good snake repellant. I have two, but they don’t want to go outside either and I’m not sure how much good they are doing as mere spectators.

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A while back I wrote about super powers I’d like to have. I need to add one: Super Snake Dominance and Avoidance. This power would instantly cause all venomous snakes within 5 miles of me to be rendered inanimate and harmless. Indefinitely. I’ll give the non-venomous ones a break as long as they do their living outside of my direct line of sight. They just need to heed my ritual dance.

Peace, People!