Hands

My hands are sixty years old, and not the least bit shy about letting everyone know. Several years ago, back when they were only fifty, my hands and I had lunch with two of my oldest and dearest friends. I hadn’t seen these ladies in quite some time, so we had much catching up to do.

We chatted with each other over plates of delicious Tex Mex cuisine at a restaurant in Dallas, alternately reminiscing about our shared histories and filling in the blanks where our paths had diverged. 

They’d both gotten their degrees four years after graduating from high school, marrying and having children only after they’d accomplished that educational milestone. My route was different. I’d married Studly, had two children, and then worked on earning my college diploma. By the time this luncheon took place I was already a grandmother, while they still had children at home. Different paths, many joys.

After the plates were cleared I noticed our three sets of hands on the table. Mine were clearly older than theirs. Where my friends’ hands were soft, smooth, and unmarred by age spots, mine were like a satellite image of a desert land, mottled and wrinkled, freckled and uneven.

I brought my friends’ attention to our hands. 

“Look at how much older my hands look than yours do!”

They looked at me like I was slightly nuts. Why would I call attention to such a thing? I even wondered that as I left the luncheon.

Maybe I like my old hands. They’re certainly the oldest looking part of me. Good genetics, for the most part, have kept the rest of my body and even my face, from reflecting my true age. I’m not terribly wrinkled yet, except for a few crinkles around my eyes and several decent laugh lines around my mouth. (I’m probably pissing off the gods of aging right now and will soon be inundated with wrinkles.)

But my hands show everything: Years of helping Studly Doright mow lawns in the summer Texas sun to help ends meet during some very lean years, years of being an assistant Little League softball and soccer coach, years of piloting a motorcycle without wearing gloves (stupid!).

Nowadays they’re more pampered. They receive occasional manicures and are treated nightly to a fairly expensive cream to keep them from further deterioration. But they still look old.

On the other hand, they might look sixty, but they are still nimble. They can tie shoelaces and dry tears, pat people on the back, and occasionally shoot someone the finger. My hands are terrific at picking pennies up and at wielding an ink pen. They text pretty well and can scroll through pages on the internet like hands half their age. 

I think I’ll take them shopping today. “C’mon, hands, we’ve got stuff to do. You, middle finger, show some restraint. That’s a good girl.”

Peace, people.people.

Looking Ahead

Post-election depression has put a real damper on my Christmas spirit. I’ve shopped and wrapped gifts, partaken of eggnog, and watched hours of Hallmark Channel movies, but I’m really just going through the motions. A future with Trump in the White House seems too horrible for contemplation. Alas, barring a last minute miracle, that stark reality seems to be in store. 

But I’m not a gloom and doom person at heart, so I’ve made a list of things that will definitely lift my spirits:

  1. Hugs from the grandchildren
  2. Large quantities of wine
  3. Hanging out with my kids
  4. More wine
  5. Having my mother-in-law, Saint Helen, with us for Christmas
  6. Did I mention wine?
  7. Studly Doright’s love and support
  8. And wine
  9. Cat kisses
  10. Cheers!


I feel better already.

Non-Political Controversy

A friend on Facebook posted a fun activity a few days ago as a way to break from politics. I earnestly searched for her post, but couldn’t find it, so I’ll have to wing the content.

Basically she asked everyone to post something that would be considered unthinkable to most folks, and it could have nothing to do with politics. 

Her example was that she hated The Walking Dead. I was aghast! Who hates The Walking Dead? I mean, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane between Star Wars films. Of course someone then posted they’d never seen a Star Wars film. I almost had an apoplexy.


I then posted, to the horror of some and the delight of others, that I’d never watched an episode of Downton Abbey. 


You’d have thought that I’d typed my disdain for cute kitten videos. Folks were aghast.


So what’s your non-political controversial topic? And don’t you dare tell me you don’t like Indiana Jones! 


Peace, people!

Fashion Sense-less 

Why is it that when I try to channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw…

Me trying to emulate Carrie Bradshaw (aka Sarah Jessica Parker) is akin to a mealworm trying to emulate a butterfly.

…my outer Phyllis Diller shows up?

I loved Phyllis Diller. Apparently my style reflects that.

Whew!

I honestly thought I’d finally lost my mind on Sunday afternoon. My day was dedicated to wrapping gifts for our five exceptionally gifted and amazingly beautiful grandchildren with whom we get to spend Christmas in just a couple of weeks. Eeee!! I’m so excited. But I digress.

The unwrapped gifts were all in a jumble in the Texas bedroom, piled willy nilly, still in shopping bags from local merchants and boxes from Amazon. I carefully sorted and counted them, making sure each child was getting something from each of the four major categories:

  1. Something they want
  2. Something they need
  3. Something to wear
  4. Something to read

I have a love/hate relationship with this newest tradition. On the one hand it keeps me focused as I shop. On the other hand it becomes mentally exhausting, and I’m blaming it for my moment of temporary insanity.

As I separated the gifts into piles for each child I came across something I had no memory of purchasing. Not only that, it wasn’t a gift suitable for a child or even a young teenager. Where had it come from, I wondered. Who is it for? I came to the only possible logical conclusion: I’d been shoplifting while in a fugue state.

When Studly Doright came in from playing golf I sat him down and told him the awful truth. 

“You’re going to have to have me institutionalized.”

“Well, okay. Let me change shoes first.”

“Dammit, Studly, I’m serious. I have this gift that I didn’t purchase. I have no idea where it came from, and I must’ve stolen it.”

“Right. I’ll probably need to put on some long pants, too.”

He was lying, though, because he went out to work in his shop for the rest day of the afternoon leaving me to ponder the state of my mind. 

I was too upset to continue wrapping gifts, so I sat and flipped through channels for a bit. Here a commercial, there a commercial, everywhere a–wait! A Victoria’s Secret commercial! 

It hit me then that earlier in the year I’d purchased two brassieres from VS while  they’d had a promotion going on. My mystery gift had been a promotional item! Apparently I’d shoved it in a drawer and forgotten all about it. 

Thank goodness. I don’t have to check into a facility for the feeble minded. At least not this week.

Honestly, could I have given this to a 14-year-old?

Peace, people.

TV Marathon Dystopia

A couple of days ago I wrote about being addicted to sappy, family-friendly Hallmark Channel movies. On Saturday, though, I realized there was a Walking Dead marathon on AMC in preparation for the mid-season finale scheduled for Sunday night. So without hesitation I changed channels, and now my brain is having a heyday as evidenced by last night’s dream:

A beautiful young television reporter is caught on a live mic saying she hates Christmas–immediately following a segment on ways to spread holiday cheer. Her public reacts negatively, and in order to boost the show’s ratings the station manager sends her and her handsome producer to North Dakota where they’ll shoot a week of programs from a little town that bills itself, “The Christmas Capital of the U.S.”

Unfortunately, the duo arrives in North Dakota to find that the zombie apocalypse is in full swing. No one in the rest of the country knew about it because, well, it was North Dakota after all. Undaunted, although a bit confused, the couple gamely make their way to “The Christmas Capital of the U.S.” where they take refuge in an old hotel with a handful of other survivors. 

They film their segments about Christmas while gamely shooting zombies and subsisting on canned foods they’ve scavenged from abandoned homes. The beautiful young reporter learns to love Christmas and falls in love with her handsome producer. Unfortunately, they’re both attacked by zombies and become walking dead themselves. 

Now that’s a dream one could sink their teeth into. Am I right? 

Nanny’s Recipes

Many years ago my mother’s mother, Nanny Grace, gave me a book filled with her favorite recipes as a Christmas gift. It was then, and remains to this day, my favorite gift of all time. And even though I’m no cook, I have actually considered using her recipes on many occasions. Fortunately I always come to my senses and let someone else do the cooking. 

A couple of weeks ago one of my cousins asked if I still had my recipe book, and if so, could I share it with her. And of course I thought, why not share it with everyone? So here are a few of the recipes my Nanny wrote out for me. Enjoy.

Cheese Puffs:


No Cook Chocolate Candy:


Rye Bread Capers:


Rye bread capers continued below:


Mexican Cornbread:


Mexican Cornbread, continued.


Eagle Brand Fruit Cake:


White Fruit Cake:


White Fruit Cake, continued below:


Cinnamon Pound Cake:


Cinnamon Pound Cake continued below:


Millionaire Pie–I’ve actually made this as evidenced by the condition of the card, and it is so good.


Millionaire Pie, continued below:


Lemon Chess Bars


Lemon Chess Pie


Rice Dressing:


Rice Dressing, continued below:


Broccoli Dish:


Potato and Cheese Casserole:


Potato and Cheese Casserole, continued:


Jalapeño Corn Casserole:


Jalapeño Corn Casserole, continued:

Cheese and Egg Soufflé:


Cheese and Egg Soufflé, continued:


What I love most about these recipes is having examples of my Nanny’s handwriting and a glimpse into her life. She was a beautiful woman. And she could cook!

That’s Nanny with my mom behind her and my Aunt Nedra beside her.

Let me know if you try any of the recipes, or if you need clarification. Nanny would be so proud.

Peace, people!

Sticky Date Nut Roll Update

Yesterday morning I posted a piece about a recipe for a candy my mom used to make. I couldn’t find her recipe for Date Nut Loaf and had to turn to Google for one. 

My youngest brother, “JB,” read my post on Facebook and subsequently found his copy of the recipe. I give you the famous Date Roll: The recipe that only turned out perfectly about 10% of the time.


Thank you to THE GREAT JB! Not only did he have Mom’s recipe, but it’s in her handwriting. 

Why has that become such a big deal to me? I mean having a sample of my loved one’s handwriting? It’s so personal, I guess. What will our children have of us? A text? An email? 

For goodness sake, sit down right now and write a note to someone you love. Write out a treasured recipe. On paper. With a pen. In cursive. 

That’s JB and his lovely wife, L. (Initials used to protect my innocence. 😉)

Peace, people.

Sticky Date Nut Roll

Today would have been my mom’s 79th birthday. She’s been gone for many years, and I still miss her every day. 

Mom was a Christmas person. She didn’t do a great deal of baking during the year, but at Christmas she pulled out all the stops. She baked cookies and made candy and sweet breads. She made a sticky date nut roll that either came out perfectly or had to be peeled off the wax paper in gooey chunks. But she made it every year, always hoping for the best.

I haven’t had that date nut roll in years, but I’ve been going through my recipes this week and reminiscing. Wouldn’t it be great, I thought, to make Mom’s date nut roll, to see if I could make it come out perfectly, in her honor. Alas, I can’t find it. Maybe I never had that one. 

I turned to Google and came up with this one, though:

Date Nut Roll

Ingredients 

3 1/2 C. Sugar
1 C. Milk
1/4 C. Butter or Margarine
1 16 oz. pkg. Pitted Dates
1 C. Chopped Pecans
1 Tsp. Vanilla extract
Powdered Sugar

Directions

-Combine sugar, milk, and butter in a saucepan. Stir until sugar dissolves.
-Cover and cook over medium hear for 2-3 minutes to wash down sugar crystals from the sides of the pan.
-Uncover and continue to cook without stirring until the mixture reaches the soft ball stage (240°).
-Cool to lukewarm (110°).
-Add vanilla.
-Beat at medium speed with an electric mixer until the mixture thickens and cools.
-Sift powdered sugar on a linen towel.
-Divide mixture into two portions and shape each portion into two rolls, each

    1 1/2″ in diameter.
    -Wrap in towels.
    -Let stand until set, then cut into 1/2″ thick slices.

    As far as I can tell its Mom’s recipe; although, I don’t think she used a candy thermometer, and that probably explains why it only turned out perfectly about 20% of the time.

    Will I give it a go and try to make this Christmas treat? I kind of feel Mom urging me to do just that.

    Mom as a teenager.