Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

I’m not going to lie, I’m a big fan of sex. In point of fact, I owe my whole life to a sexual encounter, as do we all. So why is it so difficult to write about?

My first novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Express, didn’t have even a drop of sex in it. Some vague innuendo, yes, but no heart pounding, tantalizing love making. My second work in progress, The Cowboy and the Executive, though, is a different matter.

And while Cowboy isn’t inundated with sex scenes, it does have its moments. Last night, after rereading and tweaking one such scene for the 90th time in an effort to make it feel as hot and natural as I want it to be, I threw my hands in the air and told Studly that if my characters were riding bikes in a race instead of having a proper go at one another in the bedroom, I could easily describe their emotions and physical reactions—the act of pushing down on the pedals, the freedom of feeling the wind in their hair, the way the seat chafed their bottoms as they pushed through physical exhaustion to complete the race, the exultation at finishing first, or the despair of taking a spill.

After listening to my rant, Studly winked and said, “Maybe you just need to do more hands-on research.”

Personally I think he’s just angling for a special mention in the acknowledgements.

Peace, people!

Author: nananoyz

I'm a semi-retired crazy person with one husband and two cats.

54 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby”

  1. I kind of think your hubby is right! Some of the best sex scenes I ever wrote were when my husband was still alive. I remember looking at our fireplace one evening and thinking that it might be fun to write a sexy scene in front of a crackling fire, so I told my late husband my idea. He didn’t need much encouragement, especially when I directed the scene 😉. It became a great inspiration for my book and certainly spiced up our love life. There were evenings I’d come home from work and he’d say…. are you in the mood to write something tonight? That became a code for our romantic times together. I have to say, he was rather disappointed when I finished that particular novel. Lol
    Sadly, the book I’m currently working on will have to be strictly from memory . So, since you’ve still got your Studley around for inspiration, I say, why not let him join you on your. Cowboy adventure. ( wink wink).
    Have fun!

    Liked by 4 people

      1. The earlier one was published in the 90’s and the publishing house went under during the recession. It was before pdf’s etc. I have a hard copy in my closet that I’d have to retype and update I’d I ever wanted to get it out again . Then I wrote articles and short stories . Right now I’m about 3/4 finished on a paranormal mystery/ romance . One of these days I’ll finish it . I’ll try publishing it like you did when I do. I’d rather have control of my work this time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You should hire a college kid to retype the first book and self-publish. There are upsides and downsides to self-publishing. So many folks are kind of snobbish about them. They don’t consider a self-published book worth reading. But, you get to control every aspect of the process and you make a little more in royalties.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. The other one had two titles . Originally from a Shakespeare quote “Bid time return” that I changed to “Forever Yours.
      The one I’m working on now is called Crimson Widow.
      I actually put the prologue on WordPress a while back. However I stopped writing for several years while I was in cancer treatment. I’ve since re edited the prologue but here’s a taste of my current novel.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh great! I think it’s a good story. Rather riveting. One of these days I’ll finish. I’ll have to pick your brain about self publishing. I lost too much control the other way. Parts of my book were even stolen and showed up in another writer’s novel. It was crazy . So I’ll self publish this time. I learned the hard way.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow!!! That would really piss me off. I’ll be glad to share what I know, but honestly, I’m still pretty clueless. The woman who designed my cover also helped me edit the book and formatted it for kindle. The marketing is tough. Beyond mentioning my book here I’m not sure what else to do. I have been doing some brainstorming though. Maybe a way to pull indie authors together to cooperatively advertise so no one is out much money.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks. Your ideas have been helpful. BTW, How did you locate the person who designed and edited for you? Was she a friend of yours or someone working with an agency? I was just wondering. I was going to do it all myself but that task is daunting. It makes good sense to enlist help in certain areas. I’m artistic and was going to design the cover, but your book design was excellent. Very professional. So now I’m thinking I should get someone who is a pro in that area. Thanks for the tips. I can’t wait to read your next book. Keep writing!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I found Rachel through another blogger/author. She’s very good. Another author friend used a company called Cozy Covers. You can see how it turned out by looking in Amazon under Lori Herbst. It’s a great read, by the way.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I find men sexy when they’re in a real nice fitting suit. I don’t actually read a lot of romance type novels, probably because of that, lol. But I know a lot of people who read romance novels. I don’t know why though. So that probably doesn’t help you at all, lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol! This guy is very sexy—, that’s not my problem. Writing the “play-by-play” of what happens once he and my man character are in the bedroom is daunting. Some writers do it so well.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. See I find myself with the opposite problem. I can write about sex. Apparently it is good, according to my readers. But make a whole novel long story? Something I have tried a couple of times but just got nowhere. One thing I have found, hands on research and a good muse are extremely helpful. Just saying.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to read a great many romances. Some authors went to great lengths to use metaphors to describe what was going on in the bedroom. One such author was Fern Michaels (actually two women wrote the books together. Their husbands were both named Michael and the “Fern” moniker came to them because one had a huge fern in a basket near where they wrote). Anyway, I remember one scene in which they compared the sex act to the building of a temple. By the end of the four of five page account of a night of passion, I was almost in tears from laughing so hard.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s a fine line, there. I’ve read books where that seems to be the case, but others where the sex is integrated nicely. My friend, the other Leslie Noyes, has written a book that’s seamlessly sexual. Nothing seems forced.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bad writing is bad writing. Good is good. Regardless of the topic, right? I read a great deal of science fiction. Some sci-fi writers incorporate sex beautifully. But it fits seamlessly into the story as a whole. I think that’s the key. It can’t stand out like a sore thumb.


  4. Fun post – you know how to get readers’ attention, and then you open it up to discussion. Great job! I don’t read “romance” straight up, but I love all genres that include some romance in them. And I’ve written two romantic suspense novels. Had an agent but decided to go Indie, and am glad I did. (The Right Wrong Man, and Twin Desires). But back to sex. I’m of the ilk that believe in “less naked and more to the imagination,” which makes it more difficult for the writer, but pleasurable to the reader when its written well. I’m with Derrick – the bike riding analogy works well. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m really wrestling with the thought of toning down my big scene. By the time I began writing it I felt like I’d been through three months of foreplay. And to culminate that with leaving it to my readers’ imaginations seemed almost like a cop out. I’m really torn, though. I’ll have to look for your books. Are they available Amazon?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think you have to approach it like you were an actor in the scene. As a former actress, one is trained to use subtext to make a scene realistic . One’s face, smile, slightest movements can be very provocative. What is your character thinking? What is he or she feeling, longing for? Sometimes it’s as simple as a sigh, the way your heroine closes her eyes, deepening breaths as a piece of clothing is removed … It’s about romance not porn. Just put yourself in the scene. You will know if it’s forced, or has way too much detail. Write what’s sexy to you. If you find it sexy your reader will too.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. Darling I love sex, for me sex Is an Art, and probably I am an artist.
        Every act of sex is an art, they kiss, the way he presses her boobs, the way she takes her dick inside her mouth, the way he savours her pussy, it’s all art.

        That’s why in my blogs you will only find sex and sex.

        Hope you’ll like it



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