Run-in With a Bunch of Bullies

Normally, I kind of like bugs. Spiders do us a real service. Ladybugs are marvelously cute. Bees are necessary to life on this planet. But wasps? Wasps are assholes. I hate wasps.

Yesterday afternoon I had nothing to write about. I’d had a manicure and ruined it within an hour, so I bought some polish remover and applied a clear polish. Even I can’t mess that up. It was taking forever to dry, so I thought I’d walk out on the front porch while dinner was cooking.

No sooner had I closed the door behind me than a swarm of angry wasps swooped down on my head. At first, I didn’t know what was attacking me, and I swatted at the little bastards, earning me a sting on my left forearm. I made it back inside the house with just the one sting, but I was mad.

Studly Doright was sitting in his chair in the den, and I went crying to him that the insects had to die. I wanted them executed with extreme prejudice.

“Assassinate the little f*ckers!” I demanded, directing him to the light fixture on the front porch.

With a few well aimed sprays of a deadly insecticide, Studly destroyed the nest. My hero!

See the little fuzzy bunch of wasps on the light fixture? It’s gone now, and all of its nasty little denizens are sleeping with the fishes, figuratively speaking. In actuality they’re in the trash bin. I’ll take that.

Peace, people. Except for wasps. Although, they did give me something to write about.

Author: nananoyz

I'm a semi-retired crazy person with one husband and two cats.

29 thoughts on “Run-in With a Bunch of Bullies”

    1. So they’re aliens!? One of my favorite sci-fi authors wrote a whole series in which people are evolved from insects. The bees are hard workers. Beetles are good with technology. Spiders are masters of deceit. But wasps? Wasps are assholes who only want dominion over the entire world.

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      1. Well the alien biz was kind of hinted at. We’ve had a nest too up in my study but behind a wall. We didn’t want to bring in the council and fork out and we know that once they go they go, so every damn day I have had to swipe and spray them as they gather at the window. I already have a damaged finger from wearing a ring too long that got tight and yep, sod’s law… Which finger did I catch in the velux bar when I was trying to get a wasp out the window one day…. ? So it’s now a bigger mess. Since then I’ve just killed every single one that’s come out.

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  1. I’m all for live and let live on the bugs with only a VERY few exceptions if I can see you in my house, you’re a gonner. If I can relocate you (some spiders), then you go outside. Anything else gets squished and flushed. Outside is their space and we almost always leave them alone. Except, like you, wasps. They tend to want to nest in places that are really close to our doors. In the railing outside our back door. The light on the porch and the bushes next to the front steps. Those suckers don’t normally last long. I have taken to finding methods to prevent them from nesting in the first place because I still feel bad if I have to kill them (ie… send Hubby to do the dirty work). Unfortunately we have tons of wasps around here, so it seems like a constant battle.

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  2. Hey your piece was a laugh a second and I totally agree with you but I must point out that wasps are eaten by toads. I too had a similar hatred and wondered why they were even here…what was their purpose? After research I found the one thing which eats them, toads. Now I didn’t think toads were important but they can eat wasps so they suddenly are. It seems to me that having less and less wetlands around us means more and more wasps and less and less toads to eat them. I’ve forgotten now why I started this…I just wanted to say thanks for the laugh.

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  3. That looks more like a yellow-jacket. I thought wasps were all black. I hate them both, but yellow-jackets are pure evil. I was mowing grass one day and got this weird sensation of movement all around me and I had run over a yellow-jacket (ground bee) nest. Yikes! I ran to the house and they were right behind me. I didn’t get stung, but there were two on me and several hanging around the deck for a bit. Of course, I later poured gas down there and took care of them which was most rewarding. I don’t do well with stinging insects – just no need for them.

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  4. Oh my goodness!!!! I totally sympathise with you!!! I hate wasps. So so much. It is wasp season here in the UK and those little buggers keep wasping into my house and hovering too close to my son!!! I get so mad. Also scared, yanking the baby away from the room sharpish. But mostly mad. My aunt says that if you tell them to leave your house they will go, so I shout at them to return from whence they came but it just doesn’t work. I’d boil those critters alive if I could. Vile things.

    Liked by 1 person

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