Occasionally I write poetry, and when the spirit moves me these poems deal with the horrors of gun violence. When I came across a piece on Facebook about a series of poetry reading events across Florida to keep the conversation surrounding gun deaths front and center, I thought to myself, “Oh, I’d do this if an event was scheduled for Tallahassee.”
Scrolling down the list I read:
Oh. I see there is one here. Deep breath. Myself isn’t feeling all that cocky right now.
The thing is, I don’t know if any of my pieces are good enough to present. I’ve only ever read my own works in front of an audience once or twice, and then I shook so hard my teeth rattled.
What say you, friends? Is this one of those things I should allow to fall by the wayside, or should I jump in with both feet? Awaiting the wisdoms of my readers, especially the poets among you. Please be honest. I’d rather not make a fool of myself at this event.
Here’s one for your consideration:
Guns in Church
Will we take our guns to church now?
Jesus take the wheel, but leave me my pistol
Dylan Roof opened fire in a South Carolina prayer meeting
Now more dead occupy the pews in Texas
Just wondering which firearm goes best with Psalms.
Yea, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil,
For I am armed with an automatic weapon.
No doubt lawmakers will offer meaningless thoughts and prayers
Their mantra sounding weaker by the hour
Who will answer for these deaths?
And here is another:
Guns and Thorns
the fetishists have cried,
“leave our guns alone!”
when no one has called
for their removal.
paranoid fools who fail
to see or care, cry time
and time again that any
move breeds futility
while still more innocents
die and we offer up only
thoughts and prayers.
Peace, people.
Praying for Eyebrowz 
I love them both, young Leslie. Although…as you know…I am the non agressive atheist, I think, given the power that the US places vis a vis Christianity, you have taken the right route in using a religious tapestry behind your punchy, sometimes satirical words. If I were choosing just one of this pair I think I’d go for number one, by a nose following a photo finish. Best of luck, The Old Fool.
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Thanks for your input. Got screw up my courage!
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Got to.
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I prefer the second. You must know this:
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Thanks. I’d forgotten about this song!
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go for it, I think your poetry is wonderful. We are often our own worst enemy and often think it will be the end of the world if things don’t go to plan. But some will like it (some may hate it – but that’s life) and if nothing else they will applaud your courage for doing it! xo
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Thanks! I appreciate your input!
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Both could work, but could use a bit more work. And your voice needs to be heard. So give it a shout.
But Jesus?
“The Gospel” has always been a target rich environment for trigger happy “Old Testament” types, as they’re quick to bullseye any sentiment of turning the other cheek, or beating swords into plowshares, or learning war no more. Heretical, they feel. Cuts against their view of the patriarch as hero. And without heroes there are no patriots. And without patriots, there is no nation.
Many gave up that “Good Book” decades ago. Now, they worship a high capacity Magazine.
regards,
Doug
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So help me out here, please. What kind of work? Let’s look at the first one. I’m open to all suggestions.
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workin’ on it
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Well, SNZ advised caution..but here goes.
A while ago, I think I mentioned, on one of your poetry efforts, that you need to try the prose poem. You are a grifted writer, with a infectious sense of humor, and cut to the chase self-deprecation. You can set a scene and build a narrative. You are a joy to read. So tell me where is this a poem? Even if we, I gotta be, free verse, we need to bottom line.
Who will answer for these deaths? Is a polemic.
I wrote, over a decade ago:
“Where prose suggests a paradigm shift, the poet suggests any paradigm is a lie. The narrative negates life because it connotes meaning is just around the corner.
Poets argue understanding is circuitous, forever falling back upon itself, and that awareness arrives only when language is centered and the moment captured.
Narrative pursues, poetry makes the arrest.”
we share a pew and a prayer
and I like that you like that
valley of the shadow of death,
Psalm
Shall we share a pistol?
Jesus take
the wheel
Roof opened
fire on devotion,
and a Texas congregation lay
rendered
—
Now most bodies at said and subject poetry reading will not need for the poem or poet to denote that one has commingled two separate events..feel the facts and facts that give feeling are what we’re rhyming for. Leave the list of particulars to those thoughts and prayers politicians.
And speaking of rhyming, even a hint at it, a blush interior rhyme …excepting the “P’s” I chose to parade.. there is little, in execution or tone.
Which brings me back to why I suggested the prose poem. Paragraph what you are feeling. And allow those feelings to trump structure. You are attempting to share a mood of a precise moment, not the marshaling of a movement. Forget punctuation, forget rhyme schemes, forget eye rhymes and alliterations. Engage with the true enemy of language…expectation. Pay attention to pacing. It’s a path.
I so enjoy reading your posts. You know that. In that sprit, given.
regards,
Bad Poem Master
Doggerel, Delaware.
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Thanks! You’ve given me much to ponder. I’ll attack this anew. Tomorrow. For the Oscars are on tonight. I’m so grateful for your input!
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