I’m not gonna lie. I looked really cute Saturday afternoon. I was dressed in black leggings and a gorgeous red tunic my daughter sent me. I paired them with my tall black Frye boots and a black and white scarf. I was turning heads, baby. Strutting my stuff.
To celebrate my beauty, Studly Doright took me to see a matinee showing of The Revenant. I settled into my reclining seat with a 24 oz. Sam Adams Cold Snap and a smuggled-in box of Jelly Belly jelly beans. Life was good.
About fifteen minutes into the movie, after the deadly surprise attack on Leonardo DiCaprio’s camp, but before a protective mama bear basically makes him her afternoon snack, I reached up to adjust my stylish scarf. Something was poking me.
This is what my fingers came away with:
Little pieces of brown paper excelsior.
I admit I was puzzled. I couldn’t recall having played in a pile of excelsior that morning. My pre-movie meal hadn’t had any paper in it. Faced with a mystery I put the evidence in my purse and pondered on it throughout the entire grisly movie.
DiCaprio sliced open and climbed inside of a horse to keep from freezing to death; I thought about excelsior. He chopped off a guy’s fingers, I thought about excelsior. It really made the movie palatable, that brown, scratchy paper I’d pulled from within the voluminous folds of my scarf.
As soon as the film was over I showed the pieces of paper to Studly.
“What do you make of this?” I demanded.
“Hell, I just thought you were moulting,” he said.
No wonder I was turning heads. With any luck I started a new fashion trend.
Peace, people.
Praying for Eyebrowz 
It could be a new fashion trend, I guess. It’s certainly a lot better than the flares I’m ashamed to say I used to wear in my childhood. Incidentally, I really like that “musical” scarf. It genuinely is very stylish.
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I’m not counting on any of the fashion designers contacting me for input.
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Red tunic must have been lovely anyway, but the film sounds like it’s definitely not for me. I close my eyes when there’s any kind of gore, I’d hate to miss out on more than 25% of any film!
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I know the film is getting all sorts of accolades, but it was a downer.
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That’s consoling, ’cause I really don’t want to see it 🙂
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Studly’s a bit of a wit
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Yes. But let’s not tell him that.
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Maybe you’d prefer another letter in front? 🙂
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There’s a thought!
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