Shopping for Clothes Alone Vs. Shopping for Clothes with a Child

Alone:

–Park at a distance from the store for exercise.
–Meander leisurely through the aisles speaking politely to fellow shoppers.
–Take multiple items into the dressing room. Repeat as necessary.
–Try on clothes with grace and humor.
–Speak kindly to crying children.
–Indulge their beleaguered parent(s) with understanding smiles.
–Secretly judge their parenting skills.
–Take your time in the checkout line.
–Contemplate having a glass of wine over lunch at your favorite bistro.
–Linger over lunch.
–Take the long way home after lunch.
–Put your feet up and take a nap; you deserve it.

With Children

–Park next to a shopping cart corral.
–Wrestle child into a cart.
–Bribe as needed.
–Circumvent any aisle in the store that might be construed as a toy aisle.
–Select outfits based on concentration of Disney characters per square inch.
–Herd child into dressing room.
–Bribe as needed.
–If clothing fits, buy in every color.
–Make beeline to checkout counter.
–Pay while talking over chatty and/or crying child.
–Make rude gesture at judgemental childless person. How dare they smile.
–Forget which aisle you’ve parked on.
–Finally find car, wrestle child out of cart and into car seat.
–Promise driving through McDonald’s for a Happy Meal if the child stays awake on the way home.
–Contemplate having a nap later if the kid doesn’t fall asleep in the car on the way home.
–Take two Advil, straight up, no water.

Author: nananoyz

I'm a semi-retired crazy person with one husband and two cats. View all posts by nananoyz