Craigslist

If I ever want a good laugh I need go no further than Craigslist, that online domain where goods are bought, sold, and traded, where jobs are found and relationships launched.

I’ve never actually purchased anything advertised on Craigslist, nor have I discovered a job worthy of my considerable talents, but there is something slightly mesmerizing about Craigslist. I’m especially fond of the personal ads and rants and raves.

In the relatively small market of Tallahassee I discovered a potential 50 Shades of Grey scenario in the making:

Tallahassee Italian late 50’s (looks and acts younger) seeks attractive open minded younger female for a 50 shades relationship. Please send description or pic in first reply. No experience necessary if interested in learning the lifestyle. Be open to :

-being shown off
-shared
-light bondage
-spanking
-costumes
-role playing
-being trained
-obediant
-more

I am a classy, patient, understanding teacher. If you have experince let me know.

He says he’s classy, so he must be, right? He does have some serious spelling deficiencies, though.

And how about this rant I politely edited about an older female driver from a self-avowed nice young man?

You are a menace. You are not in a position to lecture anyone on driving or etiquette. I apologize for ending our conversation with an abrupt “F____ You” and I admit it was not my finest moment. However, I was a bit flustered after you almost caused an accident and then ambushed me in the parking lot. When I calmly explained to you that I had the right of way, you agreed. Then you claimed that the rules did not apply to you and proceeded to denigrate me, my manners, and my upbringing. My manners are fine, because I was not raised by people like you.

If I see you pull a stunt like that again, I will do the polite thing and call the cops.

Sincerely,

Nice Young Man

I couldn’t make this stuff up, folks!

So if you’re in need of a giggle, check out Craigslist. Oh, and read my poem:

Craigslist

Whatever I need
Day or night
A quick search of
Craigslist can make
It all right.

Need a car?
A job or a house
To rent?
Golf clubs or maybe
A small pup tent?

Personal ads
In search of romance?
Casual encounters
Might turn raves
Into rants.

Just need to discuss
A topic online?
The forums can
Guide you,
If you just have the time.

Oh Craigslist however
Did we survive
Before you brought
This variety
Into our lives?

Peace and happy reading, People!