Tag: ugly sweater

Ugly Sweater Update

Concerning the ugly sweater contest held at Studly Doright’s office Christmas party, I have some good news and some bad news. As a firm believer in getting the bad news over with first in these situations, that’s just what I’ll do.

The bad news–Studly Doright did not win the contest.

The good news–he wasn’t arrested for crimes against decency and good taste.

The funny news–the winner was a woman who wore a feminine version of Studly’s ugly sweater. That was also the gross news. She was too shy to let me take her picture, so here’s Studly in action.

Now, THAT is an Ugly Sweater

Thus far in my 62 years on this earth I have never knowingly worn an ugly Christmas sweater. I say “knowingly” because I acknowledge there have been some questionable wardrobe choices in my past, and certainly an ugly sweater might’ve been one of them. I’m just saying I’ve never worn one on purpose.

Tonight, however, I will intentionally don an unattractive knitted garment, adorned with a gaudy, and unnecessarily sequined Christmas appliqué in the shape of a reindeer for my husband’s office Christmas party where an ugly sweater contest will be held. I don’t think my garment will win or even place in the top ten. I couldn’t go full on ugly.

Studly Doright, though, might’ve found the most heinous sweater of all time:

Is that not the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen? I told him he can wear it once, then it’s going in the dumpster. Or maybe I’ll keep it around as proof that his judgment isn’t always sound.

Peace, people.