Tag: language

A New, Old Language

We shared smiles and stilted conversation in a darkened smoke-filled room. Blues 

licks melted around a makeshift stage like butter on hotcakes. The smell of burgers 

cooking on an old Coleman grill raised a growl from my stomach while my mind 

wandered in rhythm to the music. When my friend spoke again I strained to listen 

over a low down lyric, “somebody done his woman wrong and someone made him pay.”

I asked my companion to repeat himself; as he talked I noted something new:

He spoke without contractions. Instead of “I’m glad you’re here,” it was “I am” and

 
“you are.” There was no “we’ve,” but “we have.” And I thought, who is this man? 

What has shaped him to speak in this oddly stilted, yet unaffected way? Without 

intending to, I found myself adopting his speech pattern. Would he notice and be 

offended? Oh hell, would he think I was flirting? Adroitly I threw “isn’t” and

“aren’t,” “didn’t,” and “won’t” into the mix narrowly avoiding an awkward 

situation. I can’t make this stuff up, y’all.

  

Parlez Vous Francais?

Written in response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt:

A Bird, a Plane, You!You get to choose one superpower. Pick one of these, and explain your choice:

A) the ability to speak and understand any language

B) the ability to travel through time

C) the ability to make any two people agree with each other

“Give me the words, the language, and the ability to listen and I shall rule the world.”–me, 02/01/2016

http://youtu.be/DH5sGa5WJWs
Adios!

Fox Pass

I overheard this while sitting at a table in the mall food court today.

Kid: I can’t believe I made that fox pass.

Mom: Huh? 

Kid: I just feel so dumb for doing that.

Mom: What did you do?

Kid: I asked my science teacher if she was pregnant and she said no. It was a fox pass.

(At this time I started giggling.)

Mom: What does a fox have to do with anything?

Kid: You know, when you make a mistake it’s called a fox pass.

Mom: (laughing) Oh honey, it’s not pronounced “fox pass,” it’s French and pronounced “fo paw.”

Kid: Oh, no wonder Mrs. Kinder looked at me funny when I apologized for my fox pass. I won’t make that fox pass again.

One thing I know, the kid is a reader. I did the same thing with “facade” for years until someone told me it was pronounced “fussod.” 

 

Now THAT’S a faux pas!
 
Peace, people!

Occupied/Ocupado

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Picture this, if you will: You find yourself far from home and in need of using the restroom. Your only option is at a convenience store gas station. The bathroom is a one-seater, and you carefully lock the door behind you before placing at least three layers of tissue on the well worn public toilet seat. Even with the toilet thus protected you still hover slightly above the seat, anxious to keep a distance twixt your pristine nether cheeks and the oft used porcelain. Whew!

Then, someone turns the knob, or gives a polite knock. What is your response?

“Just a minute!”

“Someone’s in here!”

“Hold your horses!”

“Ocupado!”

My personal favorite is, “Hey, don’t get your panties in a wad!”

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I heard this question posed on NPR’s “A Way With Words,” last week. Surprisingly, a good many English speakers admit to saying “Ocupado” (Spanish for “Occupied”) in this situation. The hosts of the show thought perhaps this response could be traced to the bilingual labeling on restroom door locks on airplanes. It also could reflect Americans’ love of foreign phrases: ciao and adios for goodbye, for example.

I’m curious. What do you say in this bathroom scenario?

(Program plug: I highly recommend the program, “A Way With Words.” They can be found at http://www.waywordradio.org and on Facebook, as well. If you love words, like I love words, check them out.)

Just in case you need a bathroom etiquette guide, I found this one on Pinterest:

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Peace, people!