Tag: humor

Nothing to do with March

Yesterday, in order to get my thousand words written I had to go to a coffee shop. My housekeeper came and I didn’t want to be in her way. The two of us love to talk and that’s not an activity conducive to writing or to cleaning.

It was my first time to write in a public place, unless one considers the year I worked for a small town newspaper. Then, I was surrounded by other people involved in the same activity. My beat was society news and girls’ sports. I was much better at the second of those than the first.

But on Friday I carried my trusty Dell to the Starbucks on north Monroe and typed with abandon. I ran into a research snag, but thanks to Google and internet friends I got back on track fairly quickly. Fifteen hundred words flowed from my brain to the electronic page. Some of them might even be worth keeping.

As I was writing I recalled a conversation I had with Theodore Taylor, author of The Cay. We were both at a conference for English teachers. I was an attendee and Mr. Taylor was an invited guest. My seventh graders and I had just completed a unit on his novel, and I was delighted to find him at the event.

He told me how he’d written The Cay in a single weekend after encountering a group of black musicians in the lobby of a New Orleans hotel. Something about that experience sparked in him an idea for a book about a young, white boy and a black man who became dependent upon each other for survival.

Every now and then I wonder what it would take for me to write a complete novel in a forty-eight hour time frame. A visit with an alien species? A proposal from Jason Mamoa? It’d almost be like waving a magic wand. Abracadabra!

Peace, people!

A Rousing March

Honestly, I’m not being lazy, but I’m expending 99% of my creativity energy on my ever growing novel. Today (Thursday) I have my Olli class, “Fun with Writing,” at 1:30, so I wrote for a couple of hours this morning before getting ready for class.

The novel is still in the first draft stage, even though I’ve been working on it for more years than I want to think about. In the past I’d write a bit, edit, write some more, edit. It seemed like for every step forward I was taking two steps back. Thanks to the wisdom of our Olli instructor, Heather Whitaker, I’m just writing. No editing as I go. Just getting the story out. It feels good.

One might say, I’m on a mission, an inspired march, if you will. And a good march deserves inspiring music.

How about “Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes? Rousing!

March of the Penguins

My daughter has a thing for penguins, so when I saw this photo on Facebook I shared it with her immediately, not realizing it was part of an advertisement for a cruise line.

Now, my daughter is ready to take a cruise to view penguins; whereas, I’m thinking if I go on a cruise do I really want to go somewhere cold? Can’t we just ship some of the little fellas over here like in Mr. Popper’s Penguins?

Peace and march on, people.

Generating Words in March

For those readers who aren’t into the masochistic art of writing you might not know that November is a special month known as “National Novel Writing Month,” more commonly called “NaNoWriMo.” During November writers are challenged to complete a 50,000 word manuscript between November 1 and November 30.

Every November I think that this is the year I’ll finally finish my novel. Every year, I fall short of my goal by approximately 49,750 words. Sad, eh? I start strong on November 1, but soon I’m lured away from my computer by thoughts of holiday meal preparations and Christmas shopping and a million other distractions.

Who’s to say, though, that another 30-day month wouldn’t suffice for NaNoWriMo? Why not March? Sure, it lacks the alliterative element, but the math would be the same. I’d still need to average 1,667 words a day to reach the 50,000 mark.

The good news is that over a period of several years, working erratically as the fickle spirit moved me, I have crafted a manuscript that two days ago was sitting right at 25,000 words. (I kept telling folks I was at 35,000–that just shows how long it’s been since I logged into my work. Again, sad.) So, if I can put together 50,000 words in 30 days, I’ll have 75,000 words.

There’s even better news—for the past two days I’ve written right at 1,200 words each day. Of course yesterday I had to pull out about a thousand words that just weren’t working to move the tale along. Those words go into my file titled “Misfit Words” for potential use at another point in the story. Thank heaven for word processing programs, am I right?

Why this burst of activity? Mainly it’s due to the Olli class I’m taking. Our “Fun With Writing” instructor, Heather Whitaker, has given me a figurative kick in the pants to get me unstuck. One technique I’ve found helpful is to interview my main character, or all my characters for that matter.

Ms. Whitaker provided us with a couple of lists of questions to ask characters. One’s the “Proust Questionnaire,” popularized by author/essayist, Marcel Proust as a parlor game. The second list is “Arthur Aron’s” list. Both can be found through a simple google search.

Now, there are a good many questions on both lists, and I didn’t try to ask my character every one. But just picking a few from each list solidified my understanding of the person my main character is. It’s been a game changer. She’s become much more real.

I sincerely hope I haven’t jinxed my current level of activity by writing this post. Sometimes my mind works in counter productive ways, but this feels good. I’m marching onward. Maybe this can be MaMaCoNo or March Maybe Complete Novel. Maybe not. That’s just ridiculous.

Peace, people!

March 2nd: I’d Rather be a Fence Post in Texas

March 2nd is a day dear to the heart of every native born Texan, or at least to those of us who paid attention in fourth grade history class. On this day in 1836, Texas declared its independence from Mexico and became the Republic of Texas, which it remained until 1845 when Texas became the 28th state in the union.

The Alamo
San Antonio

I was born in Lubbock, Texas, well after the Republic became a state; although, some days I feel like I might be old enough to have witnessed Sam Houston being sworn in as the first President of Texas.

Sam Houston
Coincidentally, Sam celebrated his birthday on March 2, making the day a double celebration.

Sam really wanted the state’s capital to remain in his namesake city of Houston where it had been established during the Republic’s existence. After much wrangling, though, the Capital was moved to the more central location of Waterloo. Thankfully that name didn’t stick, and the name was changed to Austin, in honor of Stephen F. Austin, Texas’ first Secretary of State, fondly thought of as The Father of Texas.

Continue reading “March 2nd: I’d Rather be a Fence Post in Texas”

March Onward

Just between you and me, I’m glad our extended February is over. That extra day in the month really sapped my strength.

And now we have March. I’m toying with the idea of a March theme for the blog. It would be a bit trickier to pull off than February’s love theme, but totally doable.

We could celebrate Sousa’s musical marches, the March sisters from Little Women, leprechauns, and the Ides of March. Then there’s Texas Independence Day, Dr. Seuss’s birthday, John Cowsill and Jermaine Jackson’s birthdays. Oh, and March Madness! I’m sure I’m leaving out other obvious takes on the theme.

Should I try a March-themed month. Aye or nay or meh?

Peace and march on, people!

Love in a Hot Afternoon

There are love songs, and then there are lust songs. I assure you, there’s a time and a place for both.

When I want to encourage and/or enhance a particular mood I ask Alexa to play slow, sexy R&B. Oh my. If I were the blushing kind of woman, the lyrics from that play list would have me glowing like a neon sign.

Yet, there’s an old country western song by Gene Watson that manages to get to me in ways that even the most explicit R&B lyrics never do. How can that be? I have a feeling the fiddle is to blame.

https://youtu.be/OtT-ATGCRQ8

Is there a particular song that puts you in mind of a good romp in the sheets? Bonus points if the song includes a fiddle.

Peace and love, people.

Love in an Elevator

I assure you this story has a point.

I once nearly lost a hand in an elevator door. True story. A group of coworkers and I were staying in an elegant older hotel in San Antonio. We’d just checked in and were waiting for a group to exit the elevator so we could enter. As the last person left the lift, the doors began to close, I waited a beat before sticking my right hand out to keep them open, then Bang! The doors snapped shut, just missing my outstretched fingers.

For the rest of my stay I took the stairs. I never try to catch and hold the elevator doors anywhere, having learned my lesson. Half an inch and two seconds were all that prevented my nickname from being Lefty instead of Nana.

These were not the offending doors, I just liked them.

Once on a solo motorcycle trip from my home in Mahomet, Illinois, to my son’s home in Dallas, Texas, I stopped for the night in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I’d been on the road all day under the hot summer sun and was ready for a shower.

I checked into the hotel and unloaded the gear from my saddlebags. I’d packed light and was able to carry everything into the hotel in one trip. I entered the empty elevator and fully relaxed for the first time that day. This was my first major solo ride, and I’d been on high alert for many miles.

As soon as I relaxed, a poof of gas was forcefully passed from my backside. Yes, I cut the cheese. It was totally unintentional, but that didn’t keep it from smelling to high heaven.

“Thank goodness,” I thought. “I’m going up and the elevator is empty.”

Except that a well put together woman stopped the elevator on the second floor and rode up with me to the third. I was torn between apologizing for the smell and trying to mime blaming it on the previous occupants. Instead I just suffered in silence until the doors opened and I could escape. I think I heard her gasp for air as she went in the opposite direction. Probably scarred her for life.

The elephant did it!

Now, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler and Joe Perry wrote the song “Love in an Elevator.” I’m thinking of writing one called “Lefty Farts in an Elevator.“ It should be a hit, don’t you think?

Peace and love, people!

You are the Sunshine of Your Love

“Before and After”

It’s a category on Wheel of Fortune, in which two words or phrases are related to the previous words or phrases in the puzzle. And, since I’ve already used one Before and After title this month, “All You Need is Love Me Do.” I can’t get the idea out of my mind.

Now, at night when I should be sleeping, I come up with before and afters:

Take the Long Way Home is Where the Heart Is

I heard it in a Love Song Sung Blue

I Will Always Love You Send Me

Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain

Midnight Train to Georgia on my Mind

I could go on and on, but I’m trying to watch “Mad Men”. In this episode, Don Draper is having a hot time with his new wife, Megan. Maybe I can put Before and After out of my mind for a few hours. Or maybe “Mad Men at Work” will be my last attempt tonight.

Do you have any good Before and Afters? I’d love to know.

Here’s “Sunshine of Your Love,” by Cream to bring a little sense to my nonsense.

https://youtu.be/zt51rITH3EA

Peace and love, people!

Radar Love

As I steered my car around the backroad curves on my way home from Tallahassee to Doright Manor I found myself smiling. “Radar Love” was playing on the radio and I sang along while tapping out the rhythm on the wheel.

https://youtu.be/ckM51xoTC2U

After “Radar Love” the next couple of songs on the ’70’s channel were duds, so I switched to the Beatles channel and caught the beginning of “Drive My Car.”

https://youtu.be/kfSQkZuIx84

Perfect.

I began to wonder when cars were first equipped with radios. Thanks to Google I found this:

Although commercial car radios hit the market in the late 1920s, it wasn’t until Galvin Manufacturing Company (now known as Motorola) introduced the Motorola 5T71 radio that commercial car radios really became popular. (In fact, the name “Motorola” is a combination of the words “motor” and “Victrola.”)

Did you have any idea that “Motorola” was a combination of “motor” and “Victrola?” I certainly didn’t.

My first car, the ugly, flat green 1961 Ford Galaxie I called “Poopsie” had a working radio. It was AM only and barely picked up the local station. I’m surprised I was able to drive it at all without music pouring out of the speakers.

All of my subsequent cars had better radios; although, AM and FM both had their limits. Just as a groove got going I’d drive out of the station’s range and have to start the search for a new station all over again.

For over a decade now Studly Doright and I have subscribed to satellite radio, giving us a huge selection of music of all types. My favorite channels are the 60’s and 70’s stations along with The Beatles and Margaritaville. The best part of satellite radio? If life is a highway, I’m gonna ride it all night long, listening to the music I love. No interruptions

Peace and love, people.