Unexpurgated

Did you know that limericks, those innocent little stanzas we wrote in elementary school, are actually often intended to be erotic? Naughty? Filthy? Perverted?

Okay, many of us have heard the one about the man from Nantucket. It was the source of much shock and giggling when I was a teen, even though I don’t think I knew the entire limerick until I was quite a bit older and read it graffitied onto a bathroom stall.

For some reason, though, I though it was an outlier, and that most limericks were similar to my personal favorite about the lady from Niger:

There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.

Brilliant, right?

But on Saturday I found this hardcover (dare I say “hardcore”?) book at a garage sale. Now, I’m going to be honest. I did NOT read the small print on the cover. I just noted the repetition of the word Limerick, and thought, “What fun!”

Only when I got home and began reading the limericks inside did I realize that every single one was naughty. Aha! That’s why one should always read the small print.

Complete and Unexpurgated. Yep. Sure is.

I wanted to share one with my readers, but it took me awhile to find an example that wasn’t so offensive that I’d lose followers.

Out of 1700 limericks, the one above was one of the less bawdy.

So what do I do with this 517 page book? I figure it’ll make a great gag gift in just the right setting, or maybe I’ll keep it to give my grandkids a shock when they have to clean out my belongings someday. I’ll bookmark it with a pair of tassels and really make them wonder.

Peace, people

Odd Girl Out

Odd Girl Out

I’m well aware that social niceties aren’t always in my repertoire

My pinky doesn’t crook just right when I sip red wine through a plastic straw

My language isn’t ladylike, and I’m far too fond of bawdy humor

And any talk of my good graces are seldom more than just a rumor

Polite company eschews my presence

Seems I’ve never learned my lessons

I can’t behave, cannot sublimate all the crazy ideas running willy nilly through this brain.

Everything lost; nothing to gain.

I wrote this whilst listening to Freebird in a funky downtown pizza shop.

https://g.co/kgs/H3PWAF