Category: Uncategorized

“No one said which Christmas“.

Recommended to me by the wonderful ravenandbeez, this book will hit you right where you live. (Thanks for breaking my heart, ladies. Sheesh.)

The day Alfie Summerfield turned 5, the First World War broke out. Alfie’s dad Georgie promised him that he wouldn’t join up, but broke the promise the next day, leaving Alfie and his mum on their own.

Now Alfie is 9 and hasn’t heard from his dad for more than two years. His mum says Georgie is away on a special mission for the government, but Alfie knows it can’t be true. He knows something has happened, he just doesn’t know what. He goes to school two days a week because those are the days that have the subjects he enjoys. The rest of the week, he shines shoes for pennies at King’s Cross Station and slips the money into…

Many years ago, back when I was expecting our first child, Studly decided he needed to take a major motorcycle trip. Apparently he was feeling the old ball and chain growing ever more cumbersome as my due date neared. So in the eighth month of my pregnancy I went to stay with my Nanny Grace for a week of coddling while Studly and his brother-in-law, Don, took off on their bikes for a tour of the Texas Hill Country.

Don, an avid hunter, wanted to check out the Llano River, famous for its plentiful deer, and both guys were curious about Luckenbach, Texas, the little burg made famous back in the 70’s by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson. Their song, lyrics below, made Luckenbach sound like an oasis of good, honest country living.

Studly, on a borrowed Honda CB 750, and Don on his XS 650 Yamaha left the Texas…

Mr Trump pictured last year tending his allotment in Shoreditch

Police were forced to draw batons and wade into a Friday night punch-up in Whitechapel Road last night as the melee descended into a full-scale Donald Trump political rally.

12 arrests were made, mostly for insulting behaviour and affray, and a number of “Trump Ain’t No Chump”” banners confiscated.

Chief Inspector Toby Dell from The Whitechapel Constabulary, told The Whelk: “We normally turn a blind eye to these weekend tear-ups among the local yobbos, but when a member of the public informed us that some of the mob were carrying pro-Trump banners and were wearing blue dungarees, we decided to move in and break things up. Otherwise, it would only have been a matter of time before a black woman was punched in the face and dragged along the ground by the ankles or something along those lines.

When told…

Miss Munyard, although she was called May by her colleagues, was in charge of the little children new to the school. She got the children to form a circle holding hands. They danced around singing:

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer’s wife
Who cut off their tails with the carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life as
Three blind mice?

Dear Miss Munyard,
I was amazed when Nola came home singing Three Blind Mice. The method of numeracy you apparently espouse has no bearing whatsoever on the modern mathematics that should be taught. Three mice is definitive. It’s the working out of the problem that’s important; not the answer. There could have been ten mice. It wouldn’t have mattered.
Zita Codfish

Dear Miss Munyard,
Andrew came home having had bad…

Remembrance: Marcel Proust

Moments from
“Remembrance of Things Past”

“The soldier is convinced
that a certain indefinitely
extendable time period
is accorded him
before he is killed,
the burglar
before he is caught,
men in general,
before they must die.
That is the amulet
which preserves individuals
— and sometimes populations
— not from danger,
but from the fear of danger,
in reality
from the belief in danger,
which in some cases
allows them to brave it
without being brave.
Such a confidence,
just as unfounded,
supports the lover
who counts on
a reconciliation,
a letter.”
― Marcel Proust

“Ghost of Madness” by Miki de Goodaboom

the inmates are outmates

escaped the asylum

with campaigns of keys

smuggled in by a

mindless electorate

straightjackets pinstriped

and pleated respectably

demagogues rattling bones

of dead dogmas that

echo with craven canards

a most artless display

of insanity normalized

raised to a level of influence

bound to derange

a democracy founded on

rational principles