Category: Family

Many years ago, back when I was expecting our first child, Studly decided he needed to take a major motorcycle trip. Apparently he was feeling the old ball and chain growing ever more cumbersome as my due date neared. So in the eighth month of my pregnancy I went to stay with my Nanny Grace for a week of coddling while Studly and his brother-in-law, Don, took off on their bikes for a tour of the Texas Hill Country.

Don, an avid hunter, wanted to check out the Llano River, famous for its plentiful deer, and both guys were curious about Luckenbach, Texas, the little burg made famous back in the 70’s by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson. Their song, lyrics below, made Luckenbach sound like an oasis of good, honest country living.

Studly, on a borrowed Honda CB 750, and Don on his XS 650 Yamaha left the Texas panhandle early one sunny April morning in 1978 intent on enjoying a good ride with no womenfolk or children around. Now keep in mind I didn’t personally experience either of the adventures I’m about to share, and there’s a good chance that Studly might have embellished a bit, and/or forgotten some of the tale, but it’s become a part of our family folklore over the years.

Late on the second day of their trip the pair made it to a KOA campground on the banks of the Llano and set up their pup tent about 30 ft. from the river. As Studly tells it, their campsite was situated in a beautifully wooded valley, with huge oak trees shading the area and the river providing a soothing soundtrack to their evening. Unfortunately, neither of the guys had remembered to pack tent stakes, but they were committed to camping out that night, so they tied nylon rope to the heftiest river rocks they could locate, thus securing their abode.

Dusty from the road, the guys walked up to the communal shower. On their way back to the tent they heard a low roar. Looking over their shoulders, they saw a towering wall of dirt heading straight for the campground. What had been a leisurely stroll turned into a trot, and they made it back to the campsite just in time to see Don’s motorcycle blow over, followed immediately by their tent going AWOL.

While Don righted his bike, Studly retrieved the tent and they re-erected it fighting against 40 mile an hour winds. Time and again that night the tent tried to go airborne as the winds blew straight through until morning. A wife would’ve insisted on finding a good hotel room, but those two stubborn guys toughed it out, sleeping for much of the night in a pile of collapsed canvas. The winds finally subsided around eight the next morning and the bleary-eyed duo resumed their journey on to Luckenbach.

As towns go, Luckenbach doesn’t have a lot going for it. Basically, it’s a post office, a dance hall and a bar. Studly and Don drove past the place several times before they finally spotted a little hand drawn sign on the side of the road. The intrepid travelers realized they needed to backtrack and finally they pulled up at the bar only to realize it was closed. They were a little bummed, but decided to ask some locals they spotted just down the street if the bar would be opening soon.

Studly took the lead as they stopped to make their inquiry of two guys who were standing next to an old Ford farm truck. David used his kill switch to kill the bike, but didn’t turn the key off. No sooner had he asked about the bar hours than one of the gentleman strutted over and straddled the front tire of the Honda, grabbing the left handlebar. Now, this is not something a well-mannered person would ever do. One does not touch another’s bike without permission.

This presumptuous guy, who happened to be exceedingly inebriated, informed Studly in no uncertain terms that, “We don’t like no stinkin’ long-haired motorcycle ridin’ motherf*****s around here.”

Now Studly used to be a scrapper, and he and Don probably could have handled the two guys standing there, but no sooner had the drunk guy delivered his soliloquy than, and I quote, “A Walking Mountain” climbed out of the truck’s cab wielding a cedar fence post. Casually he slapped the fence post against his palm as he walked menacingly toward the bikes.

Without waiting to see what happened next, Studly flipped the kill switch, hit the starter, gave it full throttle, popped the clutch and forced the straddling drunk into an awkward spinning dance to avoid being castrated by a 750 Honda. Don followed closely behind and soon they were safely on the main road. Several miles down the road Studly and Don stopped by a little bubbling creek. Still hopped up on adrenaline they called those guys a few choice words and replayed the event until they had settled down.

The rest of the trip back to their respective homes went by without incident, but they returned with a whopper of a tale about their close call in Luckenbach, Texas. Now, Waylon and Willie probably didn’t foresee such occurrences when they sang the song, but they’d have gotten a big laugh out of it.

Luckenbach, Texas (Back To The Basics Of Love)