Month: September 2022

Unapologetic Late Bloomer

Every now and then I remember I have several books available on Amazon and I do a little happy dance.

Y’all, I’d dreamed of writing a book since I was a gangly little second grader in Mrs. Gregory’s classroom. Mrs. Gregory didn’t much care for me. I talked too much and once punched a fellow student in the nose resulting in copious amounts of blood on the classroom floor (it was an accident, sort of—he and I still laugh about it—sort of). Yet she was the teacher who made me first think of becoming a writer.

She’d given us a writing prompt: Four sequential pictures featuring a little girl standing on her front porch with a saucer of milk, and a growing number of thirsty kittens arriving to partake.

In response to the prompt, I wrote a rather lengthy tome. Not only that, but my tale was gripping. Hard to put down. Real Pulitzer material. Okay, I made that stuff up, but for a seven-year-old, it was darned good. So good, in fact, that Mrs. Gregory called my mom and told her I had real possibilities in the field of writing.

To my mom, who was an avid reader, that call was a big deal. One would’ve thought the teacher believed I might be a young Alberta Einstein or something. That was hardly the case, but my mom was pleased. She told everyone. And then everyone expected me to become a famous author.

Fast forward several decades in which I was NOT a famous author. In my 64th year of life, I finished a hefty manuscript titled Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort. Then wondered, What to do? What to do?

Do I begin searching for an agent? Sending it directly to publishing houses? Do I take the chance that my book might never gain an audience? I couldn’t take that chance. So, for the first time in my life I made a really bold decision. I found a good editor and self-published Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort through Kindle Direct Publishing. Now, nearly two years later, there are three books in the series and a stand alone romance. Not bad for a late bloomer.

My only regrets are that my mom and dad never got to see my book in print and that I once punched a good friend in the nose. Sorry about that J.W.G.

Peace, people!

At Least I Speak the Language

In a very few days, I’m heading off on a grand adventure. Alone. To a foreign country. My emotions right now run the gamut from pure excitement to abject terror.

Mostly excitement, though. You see, I’m going to England to hang out with a couple of dear friends I’ve never actually met. Via FaceTime, the three of us have assured one another that we’re not axe murderers, and honestly, I’m positive they aren’t.

We’re keeping our plans fluid because I know how annoying I can be and they might want me gone after day one. I can also be charming, though, and in that case, they might want me to stay forever. In either event, I’ve booked a few days at a hotel in London and a return trip because at some point Studly Doright is going to miss me.

I leave on Tuesday and would love some good travel vibes—luggage that makes the trip with me, smooth flights, pleasant seat mates, on time arrivals, etc. Oh, just for the record, I’m leaving my axe at home.

Peace, people!

Old Dog; New Knowledge

Have you ever learned something new that rocked your world in the best way possible? That’s what happened to me this morning

It all came about because a couple of months ago I found an amazing water aerobics class populated by the smartest, sweetest, funniest, most beautiful women in Tallahassee. And they’ve let me into their queendom! They just didn’t know what a dolt I can be.

Every class session I work as hard as I can while having as much fun as I can, and I’d begun wishing I could keep track of my water workouts on my Apple Watch. But like a dutiful fool, prior to class I’d remove my watch and store it in my pool bag.

Then today, one of the lovely women in the group asked, “Why are you taking your watch off?”

“Because it’s not waterproof.”

“Is so.”

“Is not!”

It was an intensely mature conversation.

She then proceeded to show me how to activate this little water drop 💧 icon that keeps water from getting into the works and mucking everything up. At least that’s how it was explained to me. Technical AND mature.

Then when the workout’s over, one simply removes the watch and twists the knob on the side until an image of dissipating droplets fills the screen. Bye bye water! It’s just cool beyond belief.

So someone please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t know about this feature. What’s that? Crickets?

🦗🦗🦗

Peace, people!