Cheech and Chong on Basketball

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
Got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo

Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin’
In fac’, I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball
And I loved that basketball
I took that basketball with me everywhere I went
That basketball was like a basketball to me

I even put that basketball underneath my pillow
Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a pick for me

At the free-throw line of life, someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo

Oh, that sounds so sweet, sing it out
C’mon coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, honky, yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium
To stand up and sing with us

Oh yeah, sing it out like you’re proud
All right, everybody watchin’ coast-to-coast
Sing along with us, Bill Russell, sing along with us
Chick Hearn, sing along with us
Chris Schenkel, don’t sing nothin’

Oh, it feels so good, gimme the ball
I’ll go one on one against the world, left-handed
I could stuff it from center court with my toes
I could jump on top of the backboard
Take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change
I could, I could dribble behind my back
I got more moves than Ex-Lax I’m bad

I could dribble with my tongue
Here I go down court, try to stop me
You can’t stop me ’cause I got a Basketball Jones
Here I come that’s my hook shot with my eyebrow
Yeah, I could dunk it with my nose
I’m, I’m bad as King Kong, gimme the ball
I’m hot, I’m hot as, I’m hot as, I’m hot as, uh uh, uh, uh, uh

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
…

Peace and hoops, People!