Grief during the holidays: remember them next year

For many people, this is not the “hap hap happiest time of the year.”  They may hang a decoration or two, maybe even wish you holiday cheer; but underneath it all is lingering grief.  2014 was a difficult year.  We said goodbye to grandma, my friend’s sons lost their father, and my childhood friend lost her child to cancer.

I think as outsiders we feel helpless to easing their pain because really, we can’t.  So maybe this year we try to do a little more: dropping off holiday cookies, running errands, offering a shoulder to lean on.  We know that this first holiday without them- quite frankly- sucks.

What we often forget, though, is that second year.

I was a kid when my dad died.  I remember that first Christmas felt like everything was just going through the motions.  No amount of gifts, eggnog, or caroling was going to bring back…