From following Facebook I have learned that a good many of my friends suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or S.A.D., that melancholy feeling that arrives as the amount of daylight grows shorter and the nights grow longer. Sunlight, it seems, is critical to our well-being and happiness.
But I would like to offer an alternative explanation for the onset of S.A.D.–the end of the Halloween candy. That the two events occur simultaneously cannot be viewed as coincidental. S.A.D. sufferers are grieving. To support my claim I offer the 5 Stages of Candy Withdrawal:
1) Denial.
Once the candy is gone and one has searched every little nook and cranny for one last full-size chocolate bar the mind kicks into denial. “Surely that couldn’t have been the last Snickers!”
2)Anger.
“What in hell were you thinking eating that Three Musketeers? My mom was right, I should never have married you.” Or
“After all I went through to bring you into this world and you didn’t save me even one bar of candy? Ungrateful children!”
3) Bargaining.
After realizing that Anger and Denial are wasted emotions, “I’d give anything for one last KitKat. My firstborn, my Christmas bonus. Anything!”
4) Depression.
“The candy is gone. Oh, what a world, what a cruel, cruel world!”
5) Acceptance will arrive sometime in the spring, just about the time the Easter Bunny plops down some Peeps in the kiddies’ Easter baskets.
In the meantime, accept the S.A.D. for what it is–an absence of chocolate–and indulge! Remember, we are grownups and can have candy any time we please. No tricks or bunnies required.
Praying for Eyebrowz 