Aging Gratefully

I celebrated my 58th birthday on Sunday. 58 Two years away from the big 60. Whatever happened to the years between 28 and 58? I find some fun in grumbling about my age, but honestly, I don’t think I’d go back to any previous milestone. There are many things I like about being older. For example,

1) These days I can find humor in the oddest situations. Several years ago I was having some “feminine issues.” I didn’t have an OB/GYN at the time, so I made an appointment with my general practitioner, a very capable young man. Midway through my pelvic exam he said, “hmmmmm.” Then he excused himself and came back with another doctor in the clinic, an older woman, but way younger than me. Now they were taking turns peering into my hoohaw and hmmmmming. I looked at the RN who kept patting my shoulder reassuringly and said, “If we join in we’ll have a quartet.” The doctors cracked up and decided to send me to a specialist.

2) All I need to do to look good is to take off my glasses. I get ready in the morning without the aid of my eyeglasses, and I don’t look at myself very carefully before I leave for work. Thus, I’m often surprised at my appearance when I see myself in a mirror during the day. Who is that crinkly-faced woman looking at me? Why don’t her earrings match? Did she put eye makeup on the right side, but not the left? I just know that if I live to be 80 I’ll be one of those elderly women who puts two bright, unblended spots of rouge on her cheeks and a slash of lipstick somewhere near her mouth.

3) Everything sags and I just don’t care. The bags under my eyes have become close friends with my cheeks which have merged with my chin, and my breasts form a bridge from my torso to my hips. Undressed I look like a ride at Disneyworld. Wheeee! In the bathtub I regularly pretend to be a prehistoric creature emerging from the depths of a lagoon. Everything jiggles like Jell-O on steroids except my elbows and kneecaps.

4) I’m never cold anymore. My internal thermostat is set somewhere between “extra warm” and “ohmygod it’s hotter than hell in here and I need to strip down to my skivvies and run through the sprinklers right now before I spontaneously combust.”

5) I have grandchildren. Nothing compares with that.

6) I used to be a prevaricator, but now my friends know I can be counted on to tell the truth. They know that if they ask me if that dress they’re trying on looks good on them I’ll give them a tactful, yet brutally honest answer. And, I expect the same. A friend who lets a woman go out in an unflattering outfit just to save her feelings is no friend at all.

Maybe this just all boils down to taking everything in stride, enjoying one’s blessings, and being true to oneself. Whatever it is, I wish I’d been like this when I was younger. I’d probably have a lot fewer crinkles now.

Peace, People!