I’ve tackled the Iditarod,
Sailed the seven seas,
Made a fortune in the market,
Survived the killer bees.
My art work’s in the Louvre,
Next to Munch’s Scream,
I swam the English Channel
Made the Olympic team.
Every day I run ten miles,
Uphill and in the snow,
I’ve earned a star in Hollywood,
Same as Russell Crowe.
In the tabloids I’m lauded
As the leader of the pack
I swear to you this all is true
In a world of Alternative Facts.
Praying for Eyebrowz 