I’m Really Pissed Off at Death

I’ve railed at the heavens,

Cursed and cried,

Tried to rip out that cold, grey stone that’s lodged itself between my fourth and fifth ribs.

When confronted, Death shrugged and smiled a sad smile,

Like, “What did you expect? You know I’m at the end of every rainbow, the finale to every concert, the resolution of every song.”

So I hauled off and punched him. Right in his smug face.

He acted as if it hurt him more than he’d hurt me.

Part of me appreciated that, but I’m still pissed.

And so very sad.

In the past week I’ve lost three friends–two from my childhood and one I’ve known only a precious few years. Death can go suck eggs. This rant is for Mike, McArthur, and Julie.

Author: nananoyz

I'm a semi-retired crazy person with one husband and two cats.

61 thoughts on “I’m Really Pissed Off at Death”

  1. I am so sorry for your losses. To lose so many at once is unbelievably sad. Words can’t describe the hole you must be feeling in your gut.
    In the Jewish faith we say, “May his (or her) memory be a blessing”. It doesn’t take away the pain of the loss, but it helps a little because every time you think about that person you realize how lucky you were to have had them in your life. And what a blessing that is. Also, on the spiritual end, we believe that every time a soul is remembered they become closer to G-d and continue to evolve spiritually.. So in your sadness, know that your dear friends may no longer be with you in the physical sense, but they are aware of how much you cared about them on some plane.
    Just sharing my beliefs. Hope It helps a bit.
    So may the memories of your friends be a blessing to you whenever you need to feel their comfort and love.

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      1. I’m sending you hugs. I know how difficult it is. Also, I read in a book on Kaballah that said our friends and loved ones who have passed away may come to us in our dreams when we need them. So you never know. You may see them again. My best friend for over 45 years passed last year. I’ve had two very vivid dreams about her. She was young and vital and surrounded by a bright light in my dreams. Not sick from cancer like when she died. I like to think she was letting me know that she was whole and healthy again. I miss her a great deal. (Best friends are hard to come by.) But perhaps, if you are open to it, you may see your friends again one day. Take care. And yeah, losing people really sucks. Xoxo

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      3. I get dream visits from my mom too. I wake up feeling like I’ve been hugged. She always looks healthy in my dreams. And like she did when I was a little girl. I call those dreams my Little visits from Heaven.

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  2. Oh Leslie, I’m so sorry for this loss of 3 friends so close together. It is truly a rotten thing to face and my sincere sympathies (and hugs) are sent your way.

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      3. Yep, I thought it was bad enough getting the diagnosis when he was little, but it’s nothing compared to this, actually losing him.

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      10. I’ve gotta sort out my clothes for tomorrow, well, it’s actually later on now, gosh, the time as gone so fast, but take care yes and make sure you look after yourself. I know it’s easier said than done at times like this, but please try.❤

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    1. One of the only friends I had here in Tallahassee died on Saturday. She was a free spirit, lovely and generous, just a few months older than me. Prior to Julie’s death two of my classmates from Floydada passed. One had lived a troubled life and had frankly lived longer than anyone thought he would, while the other died very suddenly like Julie did.

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  11. I’m so, so sorry. To lose anyone that you’ve cared about is hard… to lose three in a short period of time makes it difficult to process each loss. Fond memories will help with your sadness (especially as time goes on), but it still sucks. I’m glad you got to punch death in the face… he really deserves it big time.

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  13. Thanks – he needs that. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m not ready for death – my own or anyone else. I’ve seen a lot of it over time and never given it serious thought. It’s hard to imagine not having someone you really love being there, and it’s likewise pretty hard to imagine not being here myself. I remember when my mom was dying, my dad took off her wedding ring and put it in his pocket and he started crying. I don’t think I ever saw him cry until that day. Mom was old and sick and in the hospital and maybe I’d made adjustments or whatever and prepared in my head, but a spouse. I can’t put myself in his place.

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  15. The sting of death is nothing that we can prepare for or ever master the technique of it not hurting us. The Bible promises a time when all “the former things have passed away” wiping out every tear from our eyes. Revelations 21:4. How we all long for that day. May their memories provide you with comfort and reassurance. Thank you for you words.

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  17. These words hit the soul, death is one of those things you can’t defeat. So many would have’s, should have’s and if’s… Sometimes the pain is so much you can’t breathe and you wonder if you’re going to make it even for the next 10 seconds. But keep going, what doesn’t kill makes you stronger.

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